Let's Get Casual

So I was thinking that I haven't really played video games since my last Umbrella Chronicles session with Jonnie Whoa Oh, but then I realized that wasn't really true. In fact, I've been playing video games pretty much every day, but in a way that barely registers to me as video game playing. What I've been doing has been playing "casual" games.

Let me start off by saying that this whole concept of "casual" games sort of confuses and frustrates me. It is often used as a criticism of the current trends of the video game industry (and most often, the Wii specifically), and it just seems like a bullshit buzzword. Casual gamers are ruining the industry for the hardcore, I've read. Excuse me? Perhaps I'm wrong, but since when is such a distinction necessary? When I was a kid, the same dudes who were playing Contra and meticulously working their way through Zelda adventures were also playing Tetris. It was the same people, the same industry, and there was more than enough room for all kinds of genres. And these ridiculous, arbitrary terms like "casual" and "hardcore" didn't exist. They were all just video games and we were all just gamers. So the next time you're reading an article or listening to some idiot ramble about how "casual" games are ruining the industry for the "hardcore", bear in mind that this entire issue has just been created by weirdo analysts and PR assholes whose agendas are to fuel this generation's console wars. Don't buy into it.

So what "casual" games have I been playing? Well, I mentioned in my last post that I've unlocked new levels in Picross so I've been working my way through those. I've also been hopelessly fucking addicted to video Boggle. Yeah you heard right, video Boggle. I bought my girlfriend, who is a big fan of word games (Scrabble, for the most part) a cheap little compilation PC game as a stocking stuffer. It includes Upwords, Boggle, Hangman and some other similar little game. The Boggle totally owns me. It's the type of thing where I'll sit down to play Boggle for five minutes and then keep saying, "Okay, ONE more game" until I notice that three hours have gone by. I finally finished all of the game's little "challenges", so hopefully I'll be able to pull myself away from it now.

I also got a new ipod for Xmas (160gb!), and it comes with a game called Music Quiz 2. Now, I always enjoyed the Music Quiz on my old ipod, and thought it was cute how it pulls songs from your own library and quizzes you about them. But the new version takes it to the next fucking level. Utilizing song titles, audio of the songs themselves, album titles and cover images, artists, and release dates, this shit is crazy fun. For example, it will play a Screeching Weasel song, and then be all like "Which album is this song from... My Brain Hurts, Dookie or Enter the 36 Chambers?" Or, in a lighting round, the category will be "BAD RELIGION ALBUMS" and a bunch of album covers will fly by, and you have to click on the Bad Religion ones. It's all in the format of a game show and it's soooo much fun. It's especially hilarious when I get asked questions about my own bands! I've been playing this way too much.

So, video games are pretty much a part of my life every day, even if it's not in the way I normally associate with gaming. That's a pretty cool thing to realize. How much a part of your life are they?

Masters Of Unlocking?

Earlier this week, Jonnie Whoa Oh and I had another Umbrella Chronicles session. To be honest, I am not sure exactly what we accomplished. This game has a lot of unlockable content, but there is no real way to discern how much there is or what you still have to do or how to unlock anything or how far along you are. It's a bit frustrating.

The main thing we did was play through all the levels we'd already beaten on the Normal difficulty mode, this time on the Easy mode. We were hoping that by making it easier, we'd perform better and thus unlock new stuff. This didn't really happen, and I'm not sure if the game or our performance was to blame.

We did take turns switching off on the one-player scenario modes, which were really fun. The game is way harder without a partner by your side! We unlocked a couple of new ones, so I guess we'll continue having these little get-togethers, which rules!

I suggested that the next game we tackle together should be Ubisoft's Lost game, which comes out next month (I think). As fun as this 2-player co-op gameplay is, it's not as fun as playing a long one-player adventure game together, switching off. As I think I mentioned in an earlier post, one of my favorite all-time video game memories is playing Earthbound together with Jonnie, and a game like Lost will be more likely to emulate that experience than a two-player game, and we're both big Lost fans. Of course, for me, the fact that Jonnie has a 360 and I don't totally sweetens the deal. He seemed receptive to the idea. But, of course, we have a lot more zombie-shooting to do first.

On the solo front, I unlocked a whole new level in Picross that I didn't know existed! I thought I'd completely finished the game, and was replaying some of the puzzles... but I guess I'd timed out on a puzzle during my first run-through because I somehow unlocked a bonus level in Normal mode. And it's fucking awesomely Nintendo-themed. That should make the next few days worth of subway rides slightly more bearable!!

Vision Quest

So I started playing Puzzle Quest last night. I really regret not getting the DS version. The problem is that when they ported this shit, they forgot to make it bigger than a fucking DS screen. This wasn't a HUGE problem during the "puzzle" part of the game (although that's way too small too), but it's seriously ruining the "quest" part. The text in particular is ridiculously small. I actually love the concept of the game - accepting various missions that result in Bejewled battles with monsters - but it's difficult to follow the plot when I'm reading about journeying to Algaroth on a mission for the Emperor in a .005-point font. And then having to find these locations on a teeny tiny little fucking map screen. I find myself just randomly clicking until I find myself engaged in a puzzle battle, which is the EXACT OPPOSITE of the way I want to play this game. I want to use strategy. I want to pick and choose the quests I take on, I want my imagination to be captivated by this wonderful fantasy of a kingdom built on puzzling. Due to this stupid problem, that could have been easily fixed by them putting ten fucking minutes of effort into this port, I can't.

For example, isn't this fun to read? Now imagine you were sitting 6 feet away from the screen. Now imagine that instead of me blabbing, it was your beloved ruler instructing you to go deliver a message to the queen of a faraway kingdom, and how to kill the bloodthirsty minotaur that guards her throne room. That'd be annoying, huh?

It's a shame though, because the game is fun as shit. Between last night and today, I played for about three hours, until my eyes started to bleed. This game should come packaged with acetaminophen. I really, really wish I'd opted for the DS version. Oh well.

Let A Smile Be Your Umbrella

<---- Yo, check out the dope-ass hoodie my girlfriend got me for Xmas. Isn't it great? I hope you all had a merry Xmas and a happy new year and all that.

In addition to the hoodie, I also got a copy of Umbrella Chronicles. My friend Jonnie Whoa Oh and I had decided that we were going to tackle this game together, because it had been way too long since we sat down as a team and dedicated ourselves to beating a game. Not since Earthbound for the Super Nintendo, in fact. Remind me to tell you about that experience one day.

So last night, I headed over to his house with my zapper in tow, and we spent an evening gleefully shooting zombies, crows, and other hideous mutants. It felt great to be playing a cooperative two-player game with a good friend, since video-gaming has been a stricty solitary experience for me for way too long. Hooray for teamwork! Hooray for friendship! Hooray for S.T.A.R.S!

I am really enjoying this game, not just as a male bonding experience, but as a great Resident Evil experience. It's fun as hell to revisit all the swinging hot spots from previous RE games, and I often found myself squealing with girlish glee with nostalgia. "I remember this room," I'd say, or "We're gonna have to fight a shark soon I bet!" I don't really understand why Resident Evil 2 was excluded, but I guess it would have been pretty much the same type of shit as part 3 anyway, so whatev.

The game also seems to be somewhat of an interactive Resident Evil wikipedia page, what with the various expository documents you collect while blasting your way through the levels. I am in love with that idea. Collecting these intriguing manilla envelopes became our A#1 priority, and we'd often negect shooting at alligator monsters or Yetis who were attacking us just so we could pick up a document that told us Claire Redfield's favorite color. I hope Wesker's document offers an explanation for the hilariously awful voice chosen for him in this game. He didn't sound this ridiculous in Resident Evil 4, did he?

Anyway, we blasted through the game on Normal mode, and I'm not sure to what degree we "beat" it. We got through the third level of the Resident Evil 3 section (which climaxed, predictably, with a battle against the Nemesis), and then our available options suddenly and unceremoniously dried up. We opened up a handful of "scenario" missions that we haven't tackled yet, but is the Nemesis boss fight the end of the main game? I look forward to finding out! I solemnly swore not to touch the game until we had a chance to play it together again, and I intend to stand by that promise. I look forward to next time!

A word on the zapper: About halfway through our session, Jon decided that he didn't enjoy playing with the zapper, and switched to the normal wiimote/nunchuck style. I stuck it out with the zapper. I will say this: For games as simple as rail shooters, they've got to think of a better way to set up the control scheme if they intend for people to use the zapper with their game. Reaching for the A button or the nunchuck's trigger buttons takes a lot away from the illusion that you are holding a handgun. Not a huge deal (as I said, it wasn't irritating enough for me to abandon the hunk of plastic like Jon did), but a bit of an unnecessary annoyance.

I also picked up Puzzle Quest for the Wii. All the reviews and word-of-mouth I've read seem to indicate that it's a fantastic game, but that the Wii version is by far the worst. I grabbed it on sale from Amazon for $15 though, so it's no biggie if it doesn't knock my dick off. I haven't cracked it open yet, but I will soon and I'll report back. I know, faithful reader, that you'll be waiting with baited breath.

I Beat The Mother Brain

I beat Metroid Prime 3!

After receiving the code from the spaceship, I flew to the planet Phaaze, where I was CONSTANTLY in hypercharge Phaazon mode. This turned out to be less annoying than I thought it'd be, and aside from a retarded amount of Metroids, the planet wasn't very hard. The final boss(es) weren't really all that difficult either.

First up was Dark Samus. Now, I know from the box art of Metroid Prime 2 that Dark Samus is a big-time playa in this story, but I'll be damned if there was one mention of her in THIS game up until I had to fight her and her stupid clones. It's weird playing the third game in a series first. I had no idea, at any point in the process, what the fuck the story was, or what I was doing in the grand scheme of things. But, since it's a Metroid game, who really gives a shit? Maybe I'll read a wikipedia synopsis or something.

Anyway, Dark Samus was fairly easy. Just blast blast blast, and her clones provided me with energy fairly regularly. After that I had to fight a big thingie that looked like Mother Brain. Also not very difficult, but very fun! Finally, the brain detached from its tethers and I had to fight it as it bounced around. This was a bit harder, since by this point I had very little energy yet. It took three tries, but I finally beat the bitch. The bosses in this game, in general, were fairly easy but very fun. I think the hardest boss in the game was the very first one, the iceman who flew around.

So there you have it. The game's beaten. What's next? Well, I still have Zack & Wiki to work through, and a lot of little extra things I have to do in Super Paper Mario. I'd also like to at least TRY to get all the stars in Super Mario Galaxy. I also have to play Super Monkey Ball, which put me off a bit with its controls, but deserves another try. Whew, that's quite a bit to do, without even considering the fact that I am planning on getting Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles and LEGO Star Wars soon.

Viva la Wii!!

ZZZZZap.

I got the Wii Zapper. Contrary to popular opinion, I actually think it's pretty cool. I like the way it feels in my hands, and I think it makes aiming a tad bit more precise. It's kind of a pain in the ass that you have to go through a huge process every time you want to assemble it or take it apart, but no biggie. The only real issue I have with it so far is that I find it difficult to move while aiming/strafe in Link's Crossbow Training. Not sure if the blame lies on the game or the zapper or myself. Probably myself. The Zelda game is pretty fun, and fairly challenging. I'm looking forward to getting my hands on Umbrella Chronicles. A old friend and I have agreed that we're going to play that game together, sitting around passing the controller back and forth until we beat it, just like we did when we were kids. Can't wait!

In Metroid news, I decided to go look for the energy cannisters (or whatever they're called) that I'm missing before I tackle the Valhalla. I made the decision to do this with the aid of a walkthrough, and it's a damn good thing I did, because I never would have found them otherwise! I had two left to get. One of them was a long and confusing quest through the planet of Bryyo. The other, which took place on the first planet in the game was a shorter quest, but ended with a boss encounter: The Metroid Hatchling. Here's what happened. I entered the room and encountered the mighty METROID HATCHLING. As I usually do when I reach a boss, I scanned it to get some info. According to the scan, the process involved blasting its phaazon parts, and then ripping off its tentacles, or some such thing. I got out of scan mode and prepared to battle. I shot the Metroid Hatchling one time. It died. Boss fight over. What the fuck? Hey, I'm not complaining. I wanted to get this pointless fetch quest over with, and a one-shot-kill boss certainly helped.

So I have all the energy thingies now, and I returned to Valhalla. I need to find the code, get back to the Space Pirate ship, fly to the Phaazon planet and, I assume, face the final boss. Almost done! Yay!

Ridley!

Whoo! Ridley is so cool. I just beat his ass. But, I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here.

When I first started playing Metroid Prime 3 again after beating Super Mario Galaxy, it was as if my worst fears had come to life. You see, part of the reason I was so conflicted by the decision to pause my Metroid progress in favor of Mario is because I know what happens when I do shit like that. I have a long history of it. If I stop playing a game for a significant amount of time, and then try to go back to it, I find myself flustered and confused, like a lost little puppy in a chainsaw factory. I don't remember where I am or where to go or what I was supposed to do next, and this almost always leads to me turning the game off in disgust and self-loathing, and never touching it again.

And it seemed like that was happening with Metroid. Stepping back into that world, I was absolutely confounded and overwhelmed with confusion. Part of the problem was that, for some reason, I was positive that I had completely finished the Space Pirate Homeworld before I stopped playing, but the game was prompting me towards a location within the Homeworld. And when I tried to make my way to that location, I got pathetically lost. It's not a good feeling being totally lost on your way to a place that you're not even sure you're supposed to be going to anyway, and it led me to turn off the game. I was worried I'd never turn it on again.

The next day, I bit the bullet and put the game back on. This time I found my way to the location I was being prompted to - and lo and behold, it turns out I wasn't done with the Pirate Homeworld yet. Not by a long shot.

I made my way to that location, which was some kind of power generator for the shield that was covering the planet, and had to shut it down while fighting off hordes of pirates. Curse their reptilian hides. Then I met up with Admiral Something-or-other and I had to escort a crack team of demolition soldiers through a series of passageways densely populated with horrible space lizards. I was really nervous about this task, because generally I hate escort missions. I'll never forget my rage at a completely helpless Minnie Mouse when I had to escort her across ONE SINGLE FUCKING ROOM in Kingdom Hearts 2. Luckily these soldiers were a little tougher than Minnie and the task was actually fairly easy. I lost three men in the process, but hey - war is hell.

After that, I was able to reach the planet's seed, and that's where I met up with Ridley!! After battling him waaaaay earlier in the game, I sort of didn't expect to meet him again. I figured this game was downplaying his involvement by getting him out of the way quickly, but I guess I was wrong! Anyway, the battle with him was pretty shockingly easy. I did die once, but that was because I needlessly used up too much of my phaazon power trying to blast him. It turns out, that's unnecessary. He's a fairly simple boss, but really really fun. I thought I'd have more to say about him, but I guess I don't. Except this: Ridley for Brawl!

Anyways, after that I still wasn't done in the stupid Space Pirate Homeworld. I had to go find a battleship that could warp me to the Phaazon Planet or some shit. I found it, but I didn't have the code to activate it, so I was prompted to go to the Valhalla to find the code. I worked my way back to my ship, flew to the Valhalla, saved, and turned the game off.

I MUST be fairly close to the end now. Maybe by my next report, I will have this game licked. Stay tuned.