It only took 117 saves! Yeesh, that's an embarrassing number, but fuck it! I beat the game! Whoo hoo!!!
Chapter 5-4 was a god damned BITCH. I spent most of the first part of the chapter cowering in fear inside a tent while my buddy in the helicopter killed the bad guys. Every so often I would inch forward, scared to the point of tears, until I was prompted to take cover again. It didn't help that I constantly lost my sense of direction, and that I could never tell where the chaingun dudes were shooting at me from. But I made it through somehow. Eventually, the copter went down, and I was on my own again.
Luckily, the chapter gave me everything I'd been hoping for in terms of items. Ammo and health items were EVERYWHERE. I loaded up on enough ammo that even when I found myself in a room with about a thousand ganados, one of them with a chaingun, I took care of them with no problems.
I reunited with Ashley and we got the parasites removed from our bodies, thus ending the chapter, and leading me into the terrifying battle with the final boss.
Except it wasn't really all that terrifying. In fact, it was easy as shit. Between exploding barrels, grenades, and buttons that sent things crashing into Saddler's mutant body, I took care of him pretty easily, and in one try. Satisfied with a job well done, I figured I'd breeze through the token escape sequence and end the game with no problem.
The escape sequence sucked. It was ten times more annoying and difficult than the actual boss fight. I died at least twenty times while fucking jet-skiing. Jet-skiing! Are you fucking kidding me? If I had to hear Leon do his fucking Han Solo / Sawyer-from-Lost impersonation one more time, I was going to lose it. "Hang on, sweetheart!" Suck my balls, Leon! After a million tries, a lot of pattern memorization, and a cigarette break, I finally did it! Ashley and I escaped from the horrible island of the mutant Spanish insect monsters! Ashley wanted to fuck me, and I said no. I wanted to fuck Hunnigan, and she said no. The game ended.
The credits were really beautiful and sad. As they rolled, still pictures appeared of the ganados living their lives prior to being infected by Saddler and his goons. They farmed, tended to their families, played, loved one another. I thought of how many of them I mercilessly gunned down, and it made me sad. I'm not being cute here; it actually kind of got to me emotionally. I came close to crying at one point. Before you recoil in shock, I should qualify that statement by pointing
out that I cried not only while watching Home Alone, but also while watching Home Alone 2: Lost In New York. So it doesn't take a whole lot to make me cry. Still, good job, Capcom. That was the perfect way to end the game.
Having beaten the main game, I was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of new options opened up! I played through the first chapter of Seperate Ways, and it was slightly harder than I thought it would be... mostly because Ada's supplies are much
more limited than Leon's. Yo, but check this out: At one point, when I was entering the church, I had ZERO bullets in either of my guns, and my health was in the red zone with no healing items. So I went into the church like that, and was
suddenly swarmed by a roomful of ganados. I figured it was all over for poor Ada, but no! I DEFEATED THEM ALL USING ONLY THE KNIFE, AND FINISHED THE CHAPTER! How awesome am I? I very rarely have amazing video game moments like that, so I think I deserve to pat myself on the back a little bit. Of course, this means I'm going to start the second chapter in very, very bad shape, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. For now, I'm reveling in having finally beaten this amazing game!
Yay!!!
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
I See You've Played Knifey Gunny Before!
Chapter 5-3 was intense! It basically consisted of two long drawn-out boss fights. Neither were all that difficult, but they were both pretty intense and stressful, because they spared you not a second to think about your strategy or figure out what to do.
Last time, I was in the middle of fucking around with It on a bunch of suspended cargo containers. As it turns out, the realization I came to after dying a couple of times was right: It was unkillable until after I got through the cargo puzzle thingie. Once I knew this, it was fairly easy. I wasted not one bullet on the monstrosity, and just avoided his attacks as I made my way through the crates. Once I was back on solid ground, I found a nice little deposit of ammo, which couldn't have come at a more perfect time. Then it was time to face IT. This was shockingly easy. At first, I just ran around in circles for a while (my default strategy in all video games), scouting the area and avoiding his attacks via button prompts. My first line of defense was blasting two exploding barrels, fucking him up good. After that, it took just a handful of magnum shots to send him back to Hell. No problem!
Then it was time to face Krauser again, which nearly gave me a heart attack. I screamed at my television a lot. Mostly things like "FUCK YOU!" and "WHAT IS THIS, A FUCKING MEDAL OF HONOR GAME?? EAT SHIT, GAME!" I take it all back. It turns out, it was all my fault. You see, I had heard a hot tip that the knife was the most effective weapon against Krauser, and so I thought I had the upper hand on the game. As soon as Krauser first attacked me with his insane super-powered jumping around, I tried stabbing him and nothing happened, except that he brutally murdered me. This scenario repeated two or three times before I realized that something wasn't right. Remembering my problems with IT, it occured to me that Krauser was probably also unkillable until I completed my other objective in the area, which was to find two pieces of some stone. So, in the next go-around, I just blasted his ass with shotgun fire when he showed up, and low and behold, he retreated, allowing me to advance. He showed up to annoy me a few more times during my quest for the stones, as did some crazy flying robots. I was actually pretty grateful for the presence of the robots, because they went down with one handgun shot each, and left me good prizes. Finally, after finding all the stones, it was time to face off against Krauser fo' rizzle, which meant that it was finally time to use the knife. Sure enough, three or four stab stab stabs, and he went down. I grabbed his piece of the stone, and exited the area, ending the chapter.
Chapter 5-4 seems badass. My rescue helicopter has finally arrived, and while I'd like to just hop in and leave Ashley behind, I guess that's not an option. I died early on in this chapter, and then quit. I'm not sure exactly how to approach this situation: Do I just hide in the shadows and wait for the helicopter to kill everything, or do I slowly advance through the level, killing things on my own? I'm honestly not sure what the game expects of me here. I'm guessing a mixture of the two. We shall see! I'm so close to the end, I can taste it!
In other news, Super Metroid really is one of the best games ever. It's been so long since I played it last, I forgot just how beautiful and perfect it is. Everything is balanced so perfectly, particularly the balance between being confused and frustrated, and the feeling of satisfaction when you finally solve the problem at hand. Plus the graphics are so pretty, even 70 years later or whatever. I'm plowing through this shit. If you've never played this game, definitely download it; you won't regret it. If you have played it, download it anyway, and remind yourself how wonderful it is. One of the greatest games on one of the greatest consoles ever.
Last time, I was in the middle of fucking around with It on a bunch of suspended cargo containers. As it turns out, the realization I came to after dying a couple of times was right: It was unkillable until after I got through the cargo puzzle thingie. Once I knew this, it was fairly easy. I wasted not one bullet on the monstrosity, and just avoided his attacks as I made my way through the crates. Once I was back on solid ground, I found a nice little deposit of ammo, which couldn't have come at a more perfect time. Then it was time to face IT. This was shockingly easy. At first, I just ran around in circles for a while (my default strategy in all video games), scouting the area and avoiding his attacks via button prompts. My first line of defense was blasting two exploding barrels, fucking him up good. After that, it took just a handful of magnum shots to send him back to Hell. No problem!
Then it was time to face Krauser again, which nearly gave me a heart attack. I screamed at my television a lot. Mostly things like "FUCK YOU!" and "WHAT IS THIS, A FUCKING MEDAL OF HONOR GAME?? EAT SHIT, GAME!" I take it all back. It turns out, it was all my fault. You see, I had heard a hot tip that the knife was the most effective weapon against Krauser, and so I thought I had the upper hand on the game. As soon as Krauser first attacked me with his insane super-powered jumping around, I tried stabbing him and nothing happened, except that he brutally murdered me. This scenario repeated two or three times before I realized that something wasn't right. Remembering my problems with IT, it occured to me that Krauser was probably also unkillable until I completed my other objective in the area, which was to find two pieces of some stone. So, in the next go-around, I just blasted his ass with shotgun fire when he showed up, and low and behold, he retreated, allowing me to advance. He showed up to annoy me a few more times during my quest for the stones, as did some crazy flying robots. I was actually pretty grateful for the presence of the robots, because they went down with one handgun shot each, and left me good prizes. Finally, after finding all the stones, it was time to face off against Krauser fo' rizzle, which meant that it was finally time to use the knife. Sure enough, three or four stab stab stabs, and he went down. I grabbed his piece of the stone, and exited the area, ending the chapter.
Chapter 5-4 seems badass. My rescue helicopter has finally arrived, and while I'd like to just hop in and leave Ashley behind, I guess that's not an option. I died early on in this chapter, and then quit. I'm not sure exactly how to approach this situation: Do I just hide in the shadows and wait for the helicopter to kill everything, or do I slowly advance through the level, killing things on my own? I'm honestly not sure what the game expects of me here. I'm guessing a mixture of the two. We shall see! I'm so close to the end, I can taste it!
In other news, Super Metroid really is one of the best games ever. It's been so long since I played it last, I forgot just how beautiful and perfect it is. Everything is balanced so perfectly, particularly the balance between being confused and frustrated, and the feeling of satisfaction when you finally solve the problem at hand. Plus the graphics are so pretty, even 70 years later or whatever. I'm plowing through this shit. If you've never played this game, definitely download it; you won't regret it. If you have played it, download it anyway, and remind yourself how wonderful it is. One of the greatest games on one of the greatest consoles ever.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Hello, Umbrella. How've Ya Been?
After a not-so-brief hiatus, I have dived headlong back into Resident Evil 4. Well, if by "dived headlong" you mean "played through one more chapter". But oh jesus christ lord mamma, WHAT a chapter!
It started with me having to kill a few more Arghs and ganados, thus wasting much of the little ammo I had left. Following that, I reached the infamous "wrecking ball" segment. A few friends had warned me about this segment, claiming that it was one of the hardest parts of the game. I must say, I don't see what all the hoop-dee-doo was all about. Basically, I had to fend off enemies for like half a minute while Ashley smashed a hole in a wall, and then run through that hole. It really wasn't that big a deal; I did it in one try without wasting too much ammo or getting injured, and the worst thing that happened was that Ashley got hit and required a herb. No biggie.
What came next was, in my opinion, much harder. I had to ride on the back of a truck and fend off ganados that ran at me as Ashley drove through a series of tunnels. I died several times attempting this, mainly because I kept running out of ammo after the first couple of ganado swarms. Finally, I utilized a balanced mix of grenades and gunplay to get through this part. Unfortunately, this pretty much completely depleted my grenade supply, so now I have no grenades AND no bullets for any of my guns. The most frustrating part was that as the truck barreled away from the ganados I'd just blown to shit, I could see all the little red ammo indicators popping up as their bodies disintegrated. I even tried to jump off the truck a couple times, hoping to grab some of that sweet sweet ammunition, but the game wouldn't let me. So close, and yet so far.
And thus ended Chapter 5-2. I played through a bit of 5-3, but I got to a point where I was running around on cargo containers, trying to open doors while being hounded by the horrific "IT". I got killed a couple of times trying to do this, and then gave up. I think I have a decent strategy for when I tackle the segment again though: I will just run by IT and avoid his attacks, rather than wasting magnum ammo trying to kill his ass. I'm sure that once I get past this annoying door puzzle nonsense, I'll have to battle him for reals anyway, so I'll save my precious magnum bullets for that. I know I keep saying this, but oh god I hope there's a bunch of ammo lying around somewhere soon!!
At one point in the midst of all this, I had a fairly awesome encounter with Krauser. He was all like "Umbrella, Umbrella, Wesker, Umbrella, Umbrelladee-doo... oh wait, did I say Umbrella? I have said too much, comrade. (knife knife knife)". I must say that after all this crazy Salazar/Saddler/ganado/gigante/plagas stuff, it's pretty satisfying for elements like Umbrella and Albert Wesker FINALLY come up in this game. Don't get me wrong - I love the game, but as a big Resident Evil fan, it does seem very disconnected from the rest of the series. It's nice to see some connections, even if they turn out to be loose or superficial (which I'm thinking they probably will). This game is a masterpiece, no question, but their decision to change up both the storyline AND the gameplay style really makes it feel like something completely different. Different is good, but in the world of video games, part of the satisfation of playing a new game in a franchise is that sense of familiarity mixed in with all the new stuff. I hope they take this into account when creating the next Resident Evil game.
See you next time, when I will hopefully boast of toppling the mighty IT.
It started with me having to kill a few more Arghs and ganados, thus wasting much of the little ammo I had left. Following that, I reached the infamous "wrecking ball" segment. A few friends had warned me about this segment, claiming that it was one of the hardest parts of the game. I must say, I don't see what all the hoop-dee-doo was all about. Basically, I had to fend off enemies for like half a minute while Ashley smashed a hole in a wall, and then run through that hole. It really wasn't that big a deal; I did it in one try without wasting too much ammo or getting injured, and the worst thing that happened was that Ashley got hit and required a herb. No biggie.
What came next was, in my opinion, much harder. I had to ride on the back of a truck and fend off ganados that ran at me as Ashley drove through a series of tunnels. I died several times attempting this, mainly because I kept running out of ammo after the first couple of ganado swarms. Finally, I utilized a balanced mix of grenades and gunplay to get through this part. Unfortunately, this pretty much completely depleted my grenade supply, so now I have no grenades AND no bullets for any of my guns. The most frustrating part was that as the truck barreled away from the ganados I'd just blown to shit, I could see all the little red ammo indicators popping up as their bodies disintegrated. I even tried to jump off the truck a couple times, hoping to grab some of that sweet sweet ammunition, but the game wouldn't let me. So close, and yet so far.
And thus ended Chapter 5-2. I played through a bit of 5-3, but I got to a point where I was running around on cargo containers, trying to open doors while being hounded by the horrific "IT". I got killed a couple of times trying to do this, and then gave up. I think I have a decent strategy for when I tackle the segment again though: I will just run by IT and avoid his attacks, rather than wasting magnum ammo trying to kill his ass. I'm sure that once I get past this annoying door puzzle nonsense, I'll have to battle him for reals anyway, so I'll save my precious magnum bullets for that. I know I keep saying this, but oh god I hope there's a bunch of ammo lying around somewhere soon!!
At one point in the midst of all this, I had a fairly awesome encounter with Krauser. He was all like "Umbrella, Umbrella, Wesker, Umbrella, Umbrelladee-doo... oh wait, did I say Umbrella? I have said too much, comrade. (knife knife knife)". I must say that after all this crazy Salazar/Saddler/ganado/gigante/plagas stuff, it's pretty satisfying for elements like Umbrella and Albert Wesker FINALLY come up in this game. Don't get me wrong - I love the game, but as a big Resident Evil fan, it does seem very disconnected from the rest of the series. It's nice to see some connections, even if they turn out to be loose or superficial (which I'm thinking they probably will). This game is a masterpiece, no question, but their decision to change up both the storyline AND the gameplay style really makes it feel like something completely different. Different is good, but in the world of video games, part of the satisfation of playing a new game in a franchise is that sense of familiarity mixed in with all the new stuff. I hope they take this into account when creating the next Resident Evil game.
See you next time, when I will hopefully boast of toppling the mighty IT.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Goodbye, Mushroom Kingdom
I finished Paper Mario.
I can't believe that this game, which is two generations old, and which I'd already beaten years ago, captivated me so much that it led me to totally blow off Resident Evil 4 for so long! Paper Mario is a wonderful, brilliant, addictive game, and well worth the $10 I spent on it. If you never played this game, and you have a Wii, download it IMMEDIATELY.
It's always a sign of an excellent game when you feel sort of melancholy upon finishing it, sad to bid the game world farewell. This is especially the case with RPGs, where you spend so much time in certain locations and get to know them so well. I remember that beating Earthbound (aka, the greatest game ever made) for the first time, years ago, actually left me depressed for a couple of days. I'm gonna miss Toad Town, just like I miss Onett.
So, now it's time to get back in to Resident Evil 4, which I will hopefully do in the next couple days. I am so close to finishing the game, but it's probably still gonna be a while until I do so. This game is so intense, that I've found I can't play it for too long at a time, so progress has been slow. I was hoping to finish this game before the release of Metroid Prime 3, but it looks like that's not gonna happen (especially if you take into account all the bonus content on this version of RE4). Perhaps I'll hold off on getting Metroid and just let Super Mario Galaxy be my next game, and save Metroid for the next time there's a long stretch between game releases. Anyway, the next post here will hopefully be about Resident Evil 4 again. Stay tuned.
I can't believe that this game, which is two generations old, and which I'd already beaten years ago, captivated me so much that it led me to totally blow off Resident Evil 4 for so long! Paper Mario is a wonderful, brilliant, addictive game, and well worth the $10 I spent on it. If you never played this game, and you have a Wii, download it IMMEDIATELY.
It's always a sign of an excellent game when you feel sort of melancholy upon finishing it, sad to bid the game world farewell. This is especially the case with RPGs, where you spend so much time in certain locations and get to know them so well. I remember that beating Earthbound (aka, the greatest game ever made) for the first time, years ago, actually left me depressed for a couple of days. I'm gonna miss Toad Town, just like I miss Onett.
So, now it's time to get back in to Resident Evil 4, which I will hopefully do in the next couple days. I am so close to finishing the game, but it's probably still gonna be a while until I do so. This game is so intense, that I've found I can't play it for too long at a time, so progress has been slow. I was hoping to finish this game before the release of Metroid Prime 3, but it looks like that's not gonna happen (especially if you take into account all the bonus content on this version of RE4). Perhaps I'll hold off on getting Metroid and just let Super Mario Galaxy be my next game, and save Metroid for the next time there's a long stretch between game releases. Anyway, the next post here will hopefully be about Resident Evil 4 again. Stay tuned.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
I <3 Toad Town
Ugh. So yeah, I've been completely neglecting Resident Evil 4 to play Paper Mario on the Virtual Console. If you're going to follow this blog, you had better get used to me flip-flopping like this, because that's kind of what I do when it comes to video games. I assure you, I am not giving up on Resident Evil 4 (although, honestly, my ammo situation is a major problem, and I have no clue how I am going to overcome it), but I've sort of been hypnotized by the Mario game.
The crazy thing about Paper Mario is that it almost feels like it shouldn't be a VC game. It's so (relatively) recent! I still remember a LOT of the game's nooks and crannies, as if I played it for the first time yesterday!
I am currently in the middle of the Shy Guy's Toybox chapter, which is really fun. This level almost has an adventure game vibe to it, due to the fact that I have to constantly run around searching for items, and then giving those items to people in different locations to get more items, which in turn give me passage to new areas where I find even more items. I enjoy that sort of thing, for some strange reason. This episode has me running around in Toad Town a lot, and while I'm doing that, I'm also taking care of a lot of unrelated side missions. Toad Town is awesome in this game! I totally love towns in RPG games. They are so relaxed and full of activities and plot advancements that are fun, but not dangerous. When I die and go to heaven, it had damn well better resemble the first town in Chrono Trigger or I'm going to sue Jesus. Anyway, Toad Town is great, and pretty damn big and chock full of stuff to do.
I'm guessing that in a few days I'll beat this game, and then return to Resident Evil 4.
Speaking of Resident Evil, have you read this article from the Village Voice? This is the kind of shit that enfuriates me, and all I can do is hope for Bonnie Ruberg to live an unfulfilling life and then die painfully, violently, and with the knowlege that her presence made the earth a slightly shittier place. But as a side note, it makes me wonder why Resident Evil 4, in which every single enemy is Spanish, didn't receive similar criticism?
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Paper
I haven't played much RE4 since the last entry. Basically, I finished off that chapter, which was accomplished as soon as I backtracked my way back to Ashley's cell. On the way, I found a bit of ammo but evened it out by wasting a bunch of ammo on some ganados.
Here's what I was up to today, video game wise: Being a hopeless slave to my addiction to the Virtual Console. I downloaded a ton of new games today, including an old favorite: Paper Mario. My Nintendo 64 was my constant companion during my college years and this was one of the very last games I played for it back then (third last, in fact, right behind used copies of Pokemon Puzzle League and the surprisingly fun side-scroller Donald Duck: Goin' Quackers). Since then, I've played the two Paper Mario sequels (including the absolutely brilliant Super Paper Mario for the Wii). So it's nice to revisit the game that started the franchise, and it's a nice way to offset the grim nature of Resident Evil 4. I played Paper Mario for about an hour today, and stopped just after I added Kooper to my party.
Oh, another game I got on the VC today was Devil's Crush, the sequel to Alien Crush. This shit is even better than the alien one. Why do I love pinball video games so much?
Here's what I was up to today, video game wise: Being a hopeless slave to my addiction to the Virtual Console. I downloaded a ton of new games today, including an old favorite: Paper Mario. My Nintendo 64 was my constant companion during my college years and this was one of the very last games I played for it back then (third last, in fact, right behind used copies of Pokemon Puzzle League and the surprisingly fun side-scroller Donald Duck: Goin' Quackers). Since then, I've played the two Paper Mario sequels (including the absolutely brilliant Super Paper Mario for the Wii). So it's nice to revisit the game that started the franchise, and it's a nice way to offset the grim nature of Resident Evil 4. I played Paper Mario for about an hour today, and stopped just after I added Kooper to my party.
Oh, another game I got on the VC today was Devil's Crush, the sequel to Alien Crush. This shit is even better than the alien one. Why do I love pinball video games so much?
Thursday, August 2, 2007
What're Yeh Sellin'?
My answer to the question posed by the title of this entry is always the same: Everything! Take it all, take all my spinels and gems and other treasures - anything to get my precious, precious weapon upgrades!! When dealing with the merchant (who seems to have chosen some rather unlikely locations to set up shop, by the way... which makes me wonder if he's also providing weaponry and provisions to my enemies - a thought that fills me with indescribable rage), my strategy is to always sell, and sell quickly. Since the beginning of the game, I have not had the patience to wait until I can combine treasures to increase their value, because I am always too anxious to immediately upgrade my weapons (except for one instance in which I just happened to stumble upon two combinable treasures before I reached the next merchant). I regret this impulsive behavior, because patience might have led to a greater bounty of goods in the long run, but I am making no steps to change it. This has led to me never having any extra money lying around. I sell stuff, I upgrade the shit out of my weapons, and by the time I bid the merchant farewell, I am nearly penniless again.
This has become a problem lately, because as of Chapter 5-1, the merchant now sells body armor. The body armor costs $60,000 which is twice as expensive as even the most lofty of weapon upgrades. Obviously, I have nowhere close to $60,000, and it will take a significant amount of time (and the sacrifice of weapon upgrades) to pull the cash together. My dilemma is: SHOULD I sacrifice weapon upgrades for this body armor? What's more important to me right now, increasing my offense or my defense? It seems like enemies are going to become harder to kill from this point on, and also will be learning new and fascinating methods by which to kick my ass. I'm not sure what I should do. I'm sure this isn't a problem for most people playing this game; by this point they probably have hundreds of thousands of dollars racked up as a result of wise and conservative business decisions. Sadly, as in real life, I haven't quite learned the value of a dollar yet.
Anyway, having left the merchant, I forged onward. Soon I ran into my first Argh. I call these monsters Arghs because every time one of them shows up, I scream "Argh!" (out of an instinctual mixture of horror, repulsion, and hatred for the God who would allow such creatures to exist), and they started thinking it was their name. I first saw an Argh laid out on an autopsy table in a hellish laboratory that could only exist in the Silent Resident Hill Evil universe. In the same area was a little note left for me by my dead Spaniard friend. I read the note, learning that I would need some sort of infrared something or other in order to kill these things. It suddenly struck me that the instant I finished reading the note, the Argh on the autopsy table would surely rise and attack me, and now I knew that there was nothing I could do to kill it, except for hoping it would drown in my tears. I left the note on the screen and went to smoke a cigarette and sooth my nerves.
I returned to the game, and sure enough the horrible, horrible thing on the table rose and attacked me. Argh! He hit me with a swing so powerful that it knocked me on my ass, and reduced my health into the red zone, forcing me to use one of my herbs. I ran away from the monster, knowing it was invulnerable to my puny weapons. After evading another couple of Arghs, I finally found the infrared scope, and I attached it to my rifle. It turns out they're not so hard to kill once you have the scope, but my shitty aim means I had to stop shooting to distance myself in several battles. No big deal. At one point though, one of the abominations ejected porcupine-like spikes out of its body as some sort of nightmarish death twitch, which fucked my shit up again, requiring yet another herb. I followed Ashley's screams to find her locked up in a cell guarded by big-ass dudes in crazy armor. I killed them, only to find that her cell was locked. Consulting the map, I followed it to the destination marker, where I killed an Argh that left me what I'm guessing is the key to Ashley's cell.
After that, I ran into another merchant. As it turns out, I now had enough cash money for the body armor (the Arghs leave you a TON of money when they die). I purchased it. I hope it helps. I also bought some first aid spray to make up for all the herbage I'd just consumed. Nearby I found a typewriter and saved, deciding to take a break for now.
As this fairly brief gameplay session ends, one truth is ringing loud and clear in my mind: I'm hopelessly screwed on the ammo front. I have exactly TWO bullets left in my handgun. My shotgun is fully loaded, and I have one more clip for it, but that's it. Luckily, I have tons of rifle ammo, which be useful in fighting the Arghs. But I have a feeling that the presence of the Arghs will be similar to that of the invisible insects I encountered earlier in the game... they'll show up, fuck with me for one chapter of gameplay, and then disappear never to be seen again. I hope I find a ton of ammo soon, or I really think I'm screwed. Pray for me.
This has become a problem lately, because as of Chapter 5-1, the merchant now sells body armor. The body armor costs $60,000 which is twice as expensive as even the most lofty of weapon upgrades. Obviously, I have nowhere close to $60,000, and it will take a significant amount of time (and the sacrifice of weapon upgrades) to pull the cash together. My dilemma is: SHOULD I sacrifice weapon upgrades for this body armor? What's more important to me right now, increasing my offense or my defense? It seems like enemies are going to become harder to kill from this point on, and also will be learning new and fascinating methods by which to kick my ass. I'm not sure what I should do. I'm sure this isn't a problem for most people playing this game; by this point they probably have hundreds of thousands of dollars racked up as a result of wise and conservative business decisions. Sadly, as in real life, I haven't quite learned the value of a dollar yet.
Anyway, having left the merchant, I forged onward. Soon I ran into my first Argh. I call these monsters Arghs because every time one of them shows up, I scream "Argh!" (out of an instinctual mixture of horror, repulsion, and hatred for the God who would allow such creatures to exist), and they started thinking it was their name. I first saw an Argh laid out on an autopsy table in a hellish laboratory that could only exist in the Silent Resident Hill Evil universe. In the same area was a little note left for me by my dead Spaniard friend. I read the note, learning that I would need some sort of infrared something or other in order to kill these things. It suddenly struck me that the instant I finished reading the note, the Argh on the autopsy table would surely rise and attack me, and now I knew that there was nothing I could do to kill it, except for hoping it would drown in my tears. I left the note on the screen and went to smoke a cigarette and sooth my nerves.
I returned to the game, and sure enough the horrible, horrible thing on the table rose and attacked me. Argh! He hit me with a swing so powerful that it knocked me on my ass, and reduced my health into the red zone, forcing me to use one of my herbs. I ran away from the monster, knowing it was invulnerable to my puny weapons. After evading another couple of Arghs, I finally found the infrared scope, and I attached it to my rifle. It turns out they're not so hard to kill once you have the scope, but my shitty aim means I had to stop shooting to distance myself in several battles. No big deal. At one point though, one of the abominations ejected porcupine-like spikes out of its body as some sort of nightmarish death twitch, which fucked my shit up again, requiring yet another herb. I followed Ashley's screams to find her locked up in a cell guarded by big-ass dudes in crazy armor. I killed them, only to find that her cell was locked. Consulting the map, I followed it to the destination marker, where I killed an Argh that left me what I'm guessing is the key to Ashley's cell.
After that, I ran into another merchant. As it turns out, I now had enough cash money for the body armor (the Arghs leave you a TON of money when they die). I purchased it. I hope it helps. I also bought some first aid spray to make up for all the herbage I'd just consumed. Nearby I found a typewriter and saved, deciding to take a break for now.
As this fairly brief gameplay session ends, one truth is ringing loud and clear in my mind: I'm hopelessly screwed on the ammo front. I have exactly TWO bullets left in my handgun. My shotgun is fully loaded, and I have one more clip for it, but that's it. Luckily, I have tons of rifle ammo, which be useful in fighting the Arghs. But I have a feeling that the presence of the Arghs will be similar to that of the invisible insects I encountered earlier in the game... they'll show up, fuck with me for one chapter of gameplay, and then disappear never to be seen again. I hope I find a ton of ammo soon, or I really think I'm screwed. Pray for me.
How Much Wii Can You Take?
Hey everybody, this is Chadd Derkins.
This blog will serve as a log of my progress in the video games I am playing. Doesn't that sound exciting? Here's some information about me that will make it even more so: I suck at video games. Seriously. I love them, and I spend ungodly amounts of money and time on them, but I really, really suck at them. This blog will consist of little else besides the endless repetition of the phrase "And then I died" and a record of the circumstances leading up to these terrible deaths. Perhaps once in a while, my avatar will experience some sort of minor victory, and we can all be excited together! It should also be noted that pretty much all of the adventures within will be taking place on the Nintendo Wii, the finest video game console ever made.
As I begin this blog, I am already deep into a video game, that game being the Wii edition of Resident Evil 4. I wish I had thought of creating this blog when I had started the game, but it's too late for that now, I suppose. I believe I am in the middle of the first stage of Chapter 5, having just arrived on the island. There are lots of military looking bastards here, including some with machine guns that kill me with one shot. I am running low on ammunition and health items, and that is beginning to seriously worry me. The fact that I've survived to this point is not so much a testament to my skills, but rather is a result of a million tiny miracles: Finding a herb at just the right time, being beaten to within an inch of my life by an enemy but surviving, etc, etc. At some point, I figure my luck has to run out, and the results will not be pretty. Will I become frustrated and abandon the game before I finish it, like I've done so many times in the past? Or will I forge onward until I save the president's daughter and destroy the weird Spanish insect cult, or whatever the fuck I'm supposed to be doing in this game? Stay tuned...
This blog will serve as a log of my progress in the video games I am playing. Doesn't that sound exciting? Here's some information about me that will make it even more so: I suck at video games. Seriously. I love them, and I spend ungodly amounts of money and time on them, but I really, really suck at them. This blog will consist of little else besides the endless repetition of the phrase "And then I died" and a record of the circumstances leading up to these terrible deaths. Perhaps once in a while, my avatar will experience some sort of minor victory, and we can all be excited together! It should also be noted that pretty much all of the adventures within will be taking place on the Nintendo Wii, the finest video game console ever made.
As I begin this blog, I am already deep into a video game, that game being the Wii edition of Resident Evil 4. I wish I had thought of creating this blog when I had started the game, but it's too late for that now, I suppose. I believe I am in the middle of the first stage of Chapter 5, having just arrived on the island. There are lots of military looking bastards here, including some with machine guns that kill me with one shot. I am running low on ammunition and health items, and that is beginning to seriously worry me. The fact that I've survived to this point is not so much a testament to my skills, but rather is a result of a million tiny miracles: Finding a herb at just the right time, being beaten to within an inch of my life by an enemy but surviving, etc, etc. At some point, I figure my luck has to run out, and the results will not be pretty. Will I become frustrated and abandon the game before I finish it, like I've done so many times in the past? Or will I forge onward until I save the president's daughter and destroy the weird Spanish insect cult, or whatever the fuck I'm supposed to be doing in this game? Stay tuned...
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