I See You've Played Knifey Gunny Before!

Chapter 5-3 was intense! It basically consisted of two long drawn-out boss fights. Neither were all that difficult, but they were both pretty intense and stressful, because they spared you not a second to think about your strategy or figure out what to do.

Last time, I was in the middle of fucking around with It on a bunch of suspended cargo containers. As it turns out, the realization I came to after dying a couple of times was right: It was unkillable until after I got through the cargo puzzle thingie. Once I knew this, it was fairly easy. I wasted not one bullet on the monstrosity, and just avoided his attacks as I made my way through the crates. Once I was back on solid ground, I found a nice little deposit of ammo, which couldn't have come at a more perfect time. Then it was time to face IT. This was shockingly easy. At first, I just ran around in circles for a while (my default strategy in all video games), scouting the area and avoiding his attacks via button prompts. My first line of defense was blasting two exploding barrels, fucking him up good. After that, it took just a handful of magnum shots to send him back to Hell. No problem!

Then it was time to face Krauser again, which nearly gave me a heart attack. I screamed at my television a lot. Mostly things like "FUCK YOU!" and "WHAT IS THIS, A FUCKING MEDAL OF HONOR GAME?? EAT SHIT, GAME!" I take it all back. It turns out, it was all my fault. You see, I had heard a hot tip that the knife was the most effective weapon against Krauser, and so I thought I had the upper hand on the game. As soon as Krauser first attacked me with his insane super-powered jumping around, I tried stabbing him and nothing happened, except that he brutally murdered me. This scenario repeated two or three times before I realized that something wasn't right. Remembering my problems with IT, it occured to me that Krauser was probably also unkillable until I completed my other objective in the area, which was to find two pieces of some stone. So, in the next go-around, I just blasted his ass with shotgun fire when he showed up, and low and behold, he retreated, allowing me to advance. He showed up to annoy me a few more times during my quest for the stones, as did some crazy flying robots. I was actually pretty grateful for the presence of the robots, because they went down with one handgun shot each, and left me good prizes. Finally, after finding all the stones, it was time to face off against Krauser fo' rizzle, which meant that it was finally time to use the knife. Sure enough, three or four stab stab stabs, and he went down. I grabbed his piece of the stone, and exited the area, ending the chapter.

Chapter 5-4 seems badass. My rescue helicopter has finally arrived, and while I'd like to just hop in and leave Ashley behind, I guess that's not an option. I died early on in this chapter, and then quit. I'm not sure exactly how to approach this situation: Do I just hide in the shadows and wait for the helicopter to kill everything, or do I slowly advance through the level, killing things on my own? I'm honestly not sure what the game expects of me here. I'm guessing a mixture of the two. We shall see! I'm so close to the end, I can taste it!

In other news, Super Metroid really is one of the best games ever. It's been so long since I played it last, I forgot just how beautiful and perfect it is. Everything is balanced so perfectly, particularly the balance between being confused and frustrated, and the feeling of satisfaction when you finally solve the problem at hand. Plus the graphics are so pretty, even 70 years later or whatever. I'm plowing through this shit. If you've never played this game, definitely download it; you won't regret it. If you have played it, download it anyway, and remind yourself how wonderful it is. One of the greatest games on one of the greatest consoles ever.