Let A Smile Be Your Umbrella

<---- Yo, check out the dope-ass hoodie my girlfriend got me for Xmas. Isn't it great? I hope you all had a merry Xmas and a happy new year and all that.

In addition to the hoodie, I also got a copy of Umbrella Chronicles. My friend Jonnie Whoa Oh and I had decided that we were going to tackle this game together, because it had been way too long since we sat down as a team and dedicated ourselves to beating a game. Not since Earthbound for the Super Nintendo, in fact. Remind me to tell you about that experience one day.

So last night, I headed over to his house with my zapper in tow, and we spent an evening gleefully shooting zombies, crows, and other hideous mutants. It felt great to be playing a cooperative two-player game with a good friend, since video-gaming has been a stricty solitary experience for me for way too long. Hooray for teamwork! Hooray for friendship! Hooray for S.T.A.R.S!

I am really enjoying this game, not just as a male bonding experience, but as a great Resident Evil experience. It's fun as hell to revisit all the swinging hot spots from previous RE games, and I often found myself squealing with girlish glee with nostalgia. "I remember this room," I'd say, or "We're gonna have to fight a shark soon I bet!" I don't really understand why Resident Evil 2 was excluded, but I guess it would have been pretty much the same type of shit as part 3 anyway, so whatev.

The game also seems to be somewhat of an interactive Resident Evil wikipedia page, what with the various expository documents you collect while blasting your way through the levels. I am in love with that idea. Collecting these intriguing manilla envelopes became our A#1 priority, and we'd often negect shooting at alligator monsters or Yetis who were attacking us just so we could pick up a document that told us Claire Redfield's favorite color. I hope Wesker's document offers an explanation for the hilariously awful voice chosen for him in this game. He didn't sound this ridiculous in Resident Evil 4, did he?

Anyway, we blasted through the game on Normal mode, and I'm not sure to what degree we "beat" it. We got through the third level of the Resident Evil 3 section (which climaxed, predictably, with a battle against the Nemesis), and then our available options suddenly and unceremoniously dried up. We opened up a handful of "scenario" missions that we haven't tackled yet, but is the Nemesis boss fight the end of the main game? I look forward to finding out! I solemnly swore not to touch the game until we had a chance to play it together again, and I intend to stand by that promise. I look forward to next time!

A word on the zapper: About halfway through our session, Jon decided that he didn't enjoy playing with the zapper, and switched to the normal wiimote/nunchuck style. I stuck it out with the zapper. I will say this: For games as simple as rail shooters, they've got to think of a better way to set up the control scheme if they intend for people to use the zapper with their game. Reaching for the A button or the nunchuck's trigger buttons takes a lot away from the illusion that you are holding a handgun. Not a huge deal (as I said, it wasn't irritating enough for me to abandon the hunk of plastic like Jon did), but a bit of an unnecessary annoyance.

I also picked up Puzzle Quest for the Wii. All the reviews and word-of-mouth I've read seem to indicate that it's a fantastic game, but that the Wii version is by far the worst. I grabbed it on sale from Amazon for $15 though, so it's no biggie if it doesn't knock my dick off. I haven't cracked it open yet, but I will soon and I'll report back. I know, faithful reader, that you'll be waiting with baited breath.

ZZZZZap.

I got the Wii Zapper. Contrary to popular opinion, I actually think it's pretty cool. I like the way it feels in my hands, and I think it makes aiming a tad bit more precise. It's kind of a pain in the ass that you have to go through a huge process every time you want to assemble it or take it apart, but no biggie. The only real issue I have with it so far is that I find it difficult to move while aiming/strafe in Link's Crossbow Training. Not sure if the blame lies on the game or the zapper or myself. Probably myself. The Zelda game is pretty fun, and fairly challenging. I'm looking forward to getting my hands on Umbrella Chronicles. A old friend and I have agreed that we're going to play that game together, sitting around passing the controller back and forth until we beat it, just like we did when we were kids. Can't wait!

In Metroid news, I decided to go look for the energy cannisters (or whatever they're called) that I'm missing before I tackle the Valhalla. I made the decision to do this with the aid of a walkthrough, and it's a damn good thing I did, because I never would have found them otherwise! I had two left to get. One of them was a long and confusing quest through the planet of Bryyo. The other, which took place on the first planet in the game was a shorter quest, but ended with a boss encounter: The Metroid Hatchling. Here's what happened. I entered the room and encountered the mighty METROID HATCHLING. As I usually do when I reach a boss, I scanned it to get some info. According to the scan, the process involved blasting its phaazon parts, and then ripping off its tentacles, or some such thing. I got out of scan mode and prepared to battle. I shot the Metroid Hatchling one time. It died. Boss fight over. What the fuck? Hey, I'm not complaining. I wanted to get this pointless fetch quest over with, and a one-shot-kill boss certainly helped.

So I have all the energy thingies now, and I returned to Valhalla. I need to find the code, get back to the Space Pirate ship, fly to the Phaazon planet and, I assume, face the final boss. Almost done! Yay!